How to Find Your Purpose When You Haven’t Found Your Calling

When someone says they want to find their “purpose” what they really mean is, “I want a job I don’t hate.”

Finding your purpose is done the same way as finding a girlfriend.

You stop looking.

“Lol, eh…what?”

Several years ago a friend of mine was single. He wasn’t happy about it. All he knew was that he wanted a girlfriend and his life would be “complete.”

So I asked him, “What’s your average day like?”

His response? “Oh, I don’t know. I work until five. By then I’m tired so I just go home and make something to eat and chill out for a while.”

Me: “Alright. And your weekends?”

Him: “I usually work on the car or another project.”

Me: “No girl knocked on your door looking for a boyfriend? Weird.”

He didn’t have a girlfriend because his actions suggested he didn’t want one. He wasn’t doing anything other than tinkering around.

Why am I telling you this?

Because finding your purpose isn’t what life is about. It’s not your job.

Your job is living your life.

Living your life is about doing. Exploring. Adventure. Trying new things. Going new places. Taking care of responsibilities. Being with friends and family. Meeting new people. Enjoying the moment right now.

When you do these things, purpose finds you.

And you help purpose find you by getting curious.

Curiosity looks like this:

“I wonder what it’s like to play guitar. Tango. Sail a boat. Write a story. Fly a plane. Hike a mountain. Camp in Alaska. Snowboard in Switzerland. Swim in lake. Start a small business. Shoot photography. Teach a class. Learn another language. Have a beach body.”

And then doing those things.

Here’s the thing. Most of this stuff doesn’t last forever. Your tastes change. Some stuff you’ll hate so you’ll quit. Some stuff you’ll love and keep doing.

These experiences automatically move purpose in your direction.

So while you’re exploring, having a good time and working on yourself, you’re sending out smoke signals so purpose can find you.

There’s one catch: Purpose doesn’t look like you think it does. Purpose isn’t about waking up one magical morning with “the answer.”

Purpose is presented as opportunity.

Opportunity looks like this:

A person you meet while taking photography lessons learns that you also enjoy cooking…another skill you learned. They are having a party and ask if you would make some appetizers. So you do.

Do that enough of whatever you love and word gets out. The choice is now up to you.

Want to find your purpose (or a girlfriend)?

Live.